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Cel Damage HD Review
Formerly a timed exclusive for Microsoft's original Xbox, Cel Damage was arguably the best of a moderately lame launch line-up; the original Halo obviously notwithstanding. A very straightforward and unambitious Mario Kart clone with a couple of fairly neat ideas in its boot, it provided absolutely as much entertainment as it promised to... and not a morsel more.
So what a weird candidate for a HD remix. The target audience is restricted to people who were forced to make the most of their new consoles back in 2002, and now want to relive those "glory" days again as adults. If you're on the lookout for a brilliant nostalgia trip, Cel Damage HD is likely to provide it primarily because it's the original game with a very, VERY basic lick of high definition paint. And that's it.
But it's still fun enough, just about. Races work despite the fact that you're gifted with infinite ammo for your base weapon, and the main gameplay system involves flipping your vehicle to garner a speed boost which seriously hinders your ability to steer. With old carts, Cadillacs and hovercrafts flipping all over the place in multiplayer it's so chaotic that it is often genuinely amusing; doubly so because all of the tracks are so short and the arenas so small.
However, as a 2001 product - rushed to meet the launch of new console hardware - it's still riddled with problems. This is (for example) the kind of game where you can perfectly time your way around a hazard - like a giant flying hammer - only for it to hit you square in the face and either knock you into scenery that you can't get out of without restarting, or kick you off course to the extent that you're instantly a full lap behind the racer in last place.
It's also the kind of game where you frequently bypass other AI players who spend all 8 laps of a race repeatedly smashing into the same corner over and over again. There were only three gameplay modes in the original release, thus there are only three gameplay modes here. There were obviously no online leader boards in the original, thus there are none here. There was no online multiplayer in the original… you get the picture.
The lack of online multiplayer does seem especially foolish, but then again this is a budget retread with no frills whatsoever; and it never pretends to be anything other than that. It's not fun enough to recommend to anyone who didn't play it back in the day, and yet it is just about entertaining enough so that you know - you just know - that Xbox maniacs back in the day were telling anyone who'd listen, on gaming forums across the world, that hey this was actually better than Mario Kart, mate.
The fact that that it is a Vita, PS3 and PS4 cross-buy release is more than welcome, but the Vita version (perhaps inevitably) doesn't support multiplayer at all, and with the superior Modnation Racers available for free on PS+, why on earth would you bother with this tanked-up old banger? A note for trophy hunters though: this is a very easy haul, if you're prepared to invest at least three to four hours into it.
If you and three friends used to play this to death more than a decade ago, grab a few ales and you're all set for a terrific evening. If you never played the original Cel Damage, or especially if you were born on or around the turn of the last century: move along. There's genuinely nothing to see here.
5/10
Review By Chet Roivas
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